


Reincarnation Blues

by PuppetMaster55



Category: Bleach
Genre: Confusion, Gen, Ichigo is swimming in denial, Ichigo-centric, Reincarnation, ichigo is kaien's reincarnation, ichigo is no one's magical girl, ichigo remembers, spoilers up to current manga arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-05 02:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5358326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppetMaster55/pseuds/PuppetMaster55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo recognizes Rukia, despite having never met her. Ichigo knows what her job is, despite having never encountered a Shinigami before. He knows how to hold a sword, even though he's never held a sword in his life. He would just ignore the whole thing into nonexistence, except he keeps getting caught up in what name to put on his homework.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. deja vu

It started as a nagging sense, a pervasive itch of deja vu that told him that he already knew Rukia. Which couldn't be right, he told himself, as she explained what she was and what she did and what she hunted, because he'd remember meeting her. He would also remember this explanation, of Shinigami and Hollows, as having happened before.

Except, not with the drawings.

As with most things strange and unusual, he ignored the nagging itch of deja vu. Especially when Rukia stabbed him, and the momentary guilt for her that he didn't know why he had. He held and swung the sword – and why had he grabbed onto Rukia's why had it changed-altered-shifted- _grew_ to fit his grip even though it was wrong all so wrong – like it was a piece of himself, puzzle pieces of himself that he hadn't realized were missing sliding into place in his soul. 

But it helped, in the end, when he knew where the cut and how to move and  ~~ cleanse ~~ kill the Hollow. He watched it vanish, sheathed the too-large sword in the too-large sheath on his back, and turned to see a lighter being shoved in front of his face. 

~~***~~

There were times, as he became used to being the local Shinigami, that he wondered if Rukia's powers and sword would return back to her if he stabbed her like she did him. So he'd asked her if it would help.

“Fool!” She attempted to kick him in the face, making contact with his nose. “It does not work like that! I could transfer my powers to you because you had none to begin with. If you try to give them back to me, then I will die.”

“You're already dead, idiot.” He dodged her second kick, nursing his nose to make sure it didn't bruise or was broken.

Rukia stopped, standing still in the street. “There are two deaths in all worlds – death of the living, and death of the soul.”

He blinked. “Souls die?” How did that even work? “I thought you said all souls go to heaven.”

“Souls die the same as humans. Most humans that die enter the reincarnation cycle, same as the souls that live in the spirit world.” Rukia's face darkened, and he didn't prod. “The souls Shinigami perform konsou on are lingering spirits, who are destined to spend the rest of their days in the spirit world. The cycle of reincarnation needs to be watched over, ensuring the balance between the worlds is maintained. Hollows are souls that linger too long in the human world, threatening the balance.”

He'd scoffed. “Still doesn't answer my question. I'm swinging your sword around, and you're gonna need it back.”

“Yes, but my powers should be returning at the same rate that yours are declining.”

“Okay.” This time he tried to kick her in the face. “What the hell?! My powers are declining?”

“Yes.” Rukia dodged, managing to roll her eyes at the same time. “You are a Shinigami under borrowed power. You took too much, yes, but still, it is not infinite. Your powers will diminish and my zanpakuto will be returned to me.”

“How?” He glanced at the hilt with the corner of his eye. “I'm holding it, it's a real object.”

“Simple. I take it from you.” She nodded, certain of her plan. “And you will be given an Asauchi. I've already put an order in at the shop for a standard issue one for you to use.”

Oh. That... answered things. Maybe not what he was looking for, but still...

He glanced at the hilt of Rukia's sword, then to Rukia, hoping the Asauchi came sooner rather than later.

Her sword still felt wrong in his hands.

~~***~~

So... Rukia had an older brother, who was really freaking strong.

He felt like he should have been more surprised, instead of taking it in stride, like he'd known all along.

What he was surprised about was that she was going to die.

He'd fought, and gotten his ass handed to him on a silver platter (because Rukia was part of a noble clan and  _why wasn't he at all surprised at hearing any of this_ and also because her brother was a Captain), and in the end, they'd taken Rukia, her sword, and even taken her powers from him. 

He was a human again, unable to help others anymore.

So of course he accepted the Asauchi and becoming a Shinigami again (the theory was, his soul knew what it felt like, and all he needed to do was awaken that feeling, awaken his own powers – not Rukia's, and certainly not with Rukia's sword).

The Shattered Shaft hurt, his soul consuming itself, gnawing a hole where his heart should be. The world within himself was falling to pieces, the vast ocean drying up as he searched for... something. He didn't know what, but still he searched for it.

_You are dying._

He spun, grabbing at another cube of water only to have it fall apart in his grip. “Who–”

_You know who I am. You also know what I am._

That was true, because now he wasn't searching so frantically. He was looking directly at what he was searching for. “Uh, hi.”

The mermaid nodded, their seaweed hair flowing in the current.  _Hello, old friend._

Holding out a hand, Ichigo gave the mermaid – although he didn't think they looked much like a woman, and even less like a man, but the term was a good a description as any – a firm nod. The mermaid nodded back, holding out the zanpakuto for him to take.

~~***~~

Kisuke kept his focus on the katana in Ichigo's hands, absently noted that the forms the teen was using were the same taught in the academy, and wondered why it didn't look more like Isshin's. Zanpakuto, in families, tended to look similar, with similar abilities.

Ichigo's looked like a normal katana, nothing special about it. The cross-guard looked plain, with smooth rounded edges, and from what he glimpsed of the hilt, it was a dark blue color. It was all strange, and Kisuke didn't like strange. He liked knowing, and he liked understanding.

But he didn't understand Ichigo.

Given the large size of the zanpakuto the teen had been using during his days as a substitute, Kisuke figured that the Asauchi would change to reflect that huge size, and reflect Ichigo's large reserves. But it didn't.

So he pushed Ichigo, pressing an offensive with Benihime to show that Ichigo had, in fact, achieved shikai. What he'd gotten in response were attacks and strategies that had him taking a more defensive position. The katana clanged against Benihime, Ichigo holding his own despite Kisuke being in shikai.

The shopkeeper had considered himself rusty, but he didn't think he was  _that_ bad. 

He struck at Ichigo's openings, took advantage of the lack of speed the teen had, which made the young Kurosaki angrier and angrier, until he'd stepped back. Kisuke paused, watching as Ichigo held his zanpakuto at arms length, twirling it with his fingers.

“Rankle the seas and heavens, Nejibana!”

...huh.

Kisuke found himself shocked, mostly, when the tidal wave came down on him. He pulled up a shield, defending against the attack as he reconsidered Ichigo's zanpakuto.

Because it was a water type, where Isshin's was a fire type. Which shouldn't be probable (not impossible, Kisuke had learned with the hogyoku that such things as impossible didn't actually exist). It also appeared to be a crystalline trident, as long as Ichigo was tall, with a blue horsetail tassel at the base of the prongs and a corkscrew shaped spear on the other end. The zanpakuto – Nejibana – didn't even look like Isshin's. He'd answered one question, while at the same time opened up several more.

Kisuke smiled. He was beginning to  _like_ Ichigo. Almost enough to forget the suspicious lack of a hollow's mask when the teen came out of the shaft. 

~~***~~

Ichigo didn't know what to feel about his  ~~ uncle ~~ father. Mostly that he somehow knew that the man was a Shinigami – and a captain, at that. But that part he could live with – it was the part where he couldn't figure out if the man was his father or his uncle. 

And he didn't even know  _why_ he thought his father was his uncle. 

His sisters, at least, he never had have any issues with (although he did expect to see a younger sister and an even younger brother, and couldn't explain just  _why_ he expected that). It was just his  ~~ uncle ~~ ~~ father ~~ _Goat-Face_ that he'd had trouble with, and why he'd settled on calling the man Goat-Face.

The nagging itch had gotten worse ever since unlocking Nejibana. Every time he thought of invading the spirit world, he felt like he was about to go home after a long day away from family.

It scared Ichigo, but not as much as this latest, newest change.

He'd labeled his homework with the name Shiba Kaien. As much as he recognized it, he didn't know who it was. Who  _he_ was. 

Ichigo erased the name, wrote his name down.

_Shiba Kaien._

It was erased, and he wrote his name again.

_Shiba Ichigo._

Erased again, written again.

_Kurosaki Kaien._

Erased again. Rewritten, slower this time.

_Kurosaki Ichigo._

He let out a shaky breath, pulled out a new sheet of paper, and started writing  _Kurosaki Ichigo_ on it, over and over. 


	2. This Is (Not) Sailor Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo decides that denial is a great river to live in. It's easier than the alternative.

There were many things about the whole situation that Ichigo found incredibly surreal. Not the least of which was...

“A cat?” It wasn't even that the cat could talk, but that he remembered a different Yoruichi. A slightly more human Yoruichi.

...and, okay, it definitely was that the cat could talk.

“It's okay, Kurosaki!” Inoue tried to explain, flailing her arms about as she told of a brave hero and special training and damsels in distress. Ichigo shifted his gaze to Chad, who nodded.

There were reasons Chad was Ichigo's best friend. He nodded, directing his attention to Yoruichi. “This better not end up with us fighting in the name of the moon.”

Urahara looked confused, but Inoue had stars in her eyes. “Kurosaki! I didn't know you liked Sailor Moon!”

“I don't.” Ichigo blandly replied. “But Karin loves it and she always watches the reruns.”

Yoruichi preened, striking a pose. “Your sister has excellent taste, unlike yourself.”

“My taste is fine.” Ichigo retorted. “Now are we gonna go rescue Rukia and beat the crap out of her brother or not?”

~~***~~

The Dangai was another one of those familiar things that kept nagging at Ichigo's mind. Mostly in that he felt like something was missing, and that he should be keeping a brisk pace, not running for his life.

Still, if the situation demanded that they move quickly, then far be it for Ichigo to go against the grain. Especially since they were being chased by a freaking murder train that was the kototsu.

...and no, he most certainly was not focusing on how he recognized the name of the damn thing. He had better things to do with his life, like not die. And also kick the ass of Rukia's brother. And the asses of anyone who got between him and Rukia. And Hat-and-Clogs, just for not explaining about the Dangai.

Ichigo put his all into running faster, and found himself far ahead of everyone else. He stopped, the light at the end of the tunnel right there within reach, shocked at how fast he'd gone, how quickly he'd done that. There was a cry behind him, far behind him, and Ichigo leaped back, trying to do whatever speed boost in reverse. The name for what he'd done was on the tip of his tongue, like trying to catch a bubble without popping it.

He made it back with the group just in time to start backtracking, running backwards to keep from getting hit by the kokotsu that was coming closer closer _closer_ –

~~***~~

The Rukongai felt like home.

It was the most disturbing thought that Ichigo could not get rid of, that this place, looking like a piece of two-hundred-year-old history (which, Rukia was a liar, if this was heaven then why didn't it look like a great place of peace and happiness like she'd told so many of the souls he'd performed konso on) felt just as much like home as Karakura. He would have ignored it, but there was too much here for him to even _try_.

So instead he employed Karin's method: deny it. Deny it all until the denial was reality. He had no nostalgia, didn't recognize any of this, not even the clean and shiny Seireitei or the defensive walls of the royal palace. He didn't recognize Jidanbo and most certainly didn't recognize Captain Ichimaru (which, a traitorous part of Ichigo's mind nagged, was an astounding promotion for the Vice-Captain of the Fifth Company).

Things got even worse when Yoruichi began to talk about knowing someone who could help break into Seireitei, and Ichigo spent half the time arguing on breaking down the gate internally denying that he _knew_ , without knowing the specifics, the person that Yoruichi was going to take them to.

And then a pig ran into him.

“She's a warthog,” Ganju proudly corrected, and Ichigo was too shocked to see someone that he immediately recognized as his younger brother to say anything other than what was stuck in the forefront of his thoughts.

“You grew sideburns.”

“Eh?” Ganju glared Ichigo down. “I think I'd remember if I ever met a damn Shinigami with your ugly face.”

Oh he did _not_ just say that. Ichigo glanced around the room to see that yes, Ganju really did just call his face ugly. It didn't matter if this guy was his younger brother or not (and he certainly was _not_ , Ichigo didn't have any younger brothers, he just had Karin and Yuzu and that was _it_ , no one else), he was going down.

~~***~~

“Brought a strange bunch of kids with you,” Kukaku remarked, taking a swig of alcohol. “ 'specially that one kid.”

“Isshin's son, yeah,” Yoruichi agreed, lapping at a saucer of sake. She wanted to milk being a cat for as long as she could, since they were about to blow the whole lid on Aizen's plotting. It was doubtful she'd be able to go back to being a cat again. “Kisuke says that his shikai is something to behold.”

“Don't care.”

“A water-type,” Yoruichi continued. “In contrast to Isshin's fire-type.”

“Water-type?” Kukaku got a suspicious gleam in her eye. “Kid takes after his cousin. Nothing strange about that.”

“Ichigo takes after Kaien too much, it seems,” Yoruichi said. “Kaien's zanpakuto. Did you ever know what it was called?”

“The day he gained shikai, Kaien held a big feast in celebration. Made a big spectacle of it. He used it to create that pond out back. He said it's called–”

“Nejibana,” Yoruichi finished for her, and Kukaku nodded. “Kisuke's told me that that's what Ichigo's shikai is called.”

“...oh?” Kukaku set down the bottle. “What are you implying?”

“I'm not implying anything,” Yoruichi answered, sitting straight. “Ichigo recognized Ganju, and has had this look in his eyes since he first picked up a sword. You've seen it too.”

“Reincarnation?” Kukaku shook her head. “Doesn't work like that, or so I'm told.”

“You'd be correct,” Yoruichi agreed. “But I've seen Kisuke's footage. Ichigo has Kaien's zanpakuto, down to the last detail. We dismissed how Ichigo looks like Kaien because of Isshin's background, but now Kisuke believes it is something else.”

“Something else?” Kukaku snorted. “What something else?”

“His mother,” Yoruichi offered. “She was a Quincy.”

“A Quincy?” Kukaku raised her eyebrows. “Thought they all died out.”

“The Quincy War of Extermination could hardly account for every Quincy,” Yoruichi explained. “It was expected of some to survive. Kurotsuchi Mayuri was convicted of war crimes and locked away in the Maggots Nest for experimenting on Quincy souls. Kisuke still has the notes on record, and none of them mention the effects on the reincarnation cycle. Kisuke asked me to keep a close eye on him, see if there's anything else worth looking into.”

“Like what?” Kukaku snorted. “So the kid has Kaien's sword, and looks like him. He say anything about anything?”

“Ichigo hasn't said a thing to anyone.” Yoruichi licked a paw, absentmindedly grooming. “Not even to his friends. Kisuke doesn't want to force the issue.” She settled Kukaku with a heavy stare. “You're being awfully blasé about this.”

“I mourned Kaien's passing,” Kukaku replied. “I mourned his death and moved on. That's all that can be done. So if you tell me that my baby cousin might be a reincarnation of Kaien? I don't care. I'm not supposed to. We're not supposed to care if we find the reincarnation of a loved one. So what if he might be Kaien? So what if he isn't? Kaien's gone and Ichigo's here, and that's all that matters.”

~~***~~

For some reason that Ichigo is entirely certain does not exist at all, he thought creating a sphere of reishi was going to be easier. For entirely different reasons that he's dubiously considering let exist, it really isn't.

Granted, he _has_ only been a Shinigami for about two months. It's both a motivating and humbling thought, that there existed souls that have lived for hundreds of years to get to the level that Ichigo's at. A small part of him wondered if that's cheating, or if the universe just dealt the deck and naturally lets the card stack in his favor.

A larger part of him viciously remembered the beatdown Byakuya gave him (he finally picked up the name of the asshole older brother, and mentally swapped it into place in the big speech he was preparing to give while kicking Byakuya's ass) and declared the destiny and fate thing a heaping pile of shit.

Really, Ichigo just considered it as a part of the spiteful motivation to get stronger. Well, maybe not entirely spiteful, since he was doing this to protect a mountain-load of people.

...okay, it was entirely out of spite, he was doing this to spite Rukia, and she had to live to see him prove her completely wrong.

...and also because he had to pay her back for that whole life-saving thing. That was also an important reason. Maybe not as important as spite, but still really important. And it made for a better thing to say when she tried to protest against his saving her.

“You're doing it wrong.”

Ichigo was startled out of his thoughts to see Ganju looming over him. Apparently he'd collapsed at some point, the orb still sitting in his palm. Ichigo scowled. Ganju held up a tray. “Big Sis had me put some aside for you. Ungrateful little–”

“Give it.” Ichigo normally wouldn't have been so rude, but in all fairness, Ganju had started it. Ganju had his own tray of food, probably to make Ichigo seem less guilty about eating separate from everyone else (and so late, he guessed), and the two of them managed to eat in silence. Well, mostly silence. Ganju talked about how he envisioned the ball. Ichigo figured that was his way of apologizing and making amends, so he decided to try something of his own. “Did you have an older brother?”

Ganju twitched, irked, but nodded. “Yeah. The oldest of us. Me and Kukaku and him. What about it?”

Ichigo shook his head, trying very hard not to imagine Ganju as a young kid.

He needed to try harder.

~~***~~

The next day, Ichigo managed to create a shaky reishi orb around him, thanks in part to Ganju's advice. Kukaku stared, grim, while everyone else (Inoue, mostly. Actually, it was almost entirely Inoue with quiet approval from Chad and added critical fanfare from the twin bodyguards) cheered.

“Almost ready,” Kukaku declared. “Show me your shikai, and I'll declare you ready.”

“What the hell, Big Sis?!” Ganju protested, and barely managed to catch the orb before it smashed against is face.

Ichigo, having thrown the orb, glared. “That's my line! Why do you want to see that? Hat-and-Clogs said–”

“Not to unseal your zanpakuto in Seireitei unless you have no other choice,” Yoruichi finished for him. “I am aware.”

“Show me you're prepared to do this,” Kukaku stated. “You really want me to do this for you, show me you can stand on equal ground with the monsters you're about to go against.”

Ichigo glared, but still drew his sword. If Kukaku wanted a demonstration, then she would get one. The sword spun in his fingers. “Rankle the seas and heavens, Nejibana.”

Nejibana unleashed, and Ichigo lunged. Reiatsu gathered around the prongs, a trident of water following out, destroying the wall behind Kukaku. Her eyes were wide, and Ganju stood gaping like a fish out of water. Ichigo smirked, resting Nejibana along his shoulders and behind his head. “That good enough for you?”

Kukaku nodded, slapping a hand over Ganju's mouth before he could say anything. Ichigo knew they recognized his zanpakuto, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. They had an older brother, one with his zanpakuto. They had an older brother that he did _not at all_ remember being.

“Prepare the cannon,” Kukaku eventually said. “Let's break into Sereitei.”

**Author's Note:**

> mostly a bundle of snippets in the life of ichigo as he remembers being kaien shiba. don't expect much in the way of plot beyond canon.


End file.
